Wife 1.0

Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Help Desk,
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began “Unexpected Child Processing”, which took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs, and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 and Beer Bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I’ve thought about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but “uninstall” does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Chip Silicon

Dear Mr. Silicon,
This is a very common problem men complain about, mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program.

Wife 1.0 is an “OPERATING SYSTEM” and is designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to “uninstall”, “delete” or “purge” this program from the system, once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some men have tried to “install” Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than original system.

Look in your manual under “Warnings – Alimony/Child Support”. I recommend
you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding “General Protection Faults (GPFs)”.

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems which might occur. The best course of action is to push the “apologize” button, then “reset” as soon as
lock-up occurs. The system will run smooth as long as you take the blame for
all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but is very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0

For better help with Wife 1.0 check out these sites:

Focus on the Family Ministries
Crown Financial Ministries

The Relationship Resource Group Incorporated Producer of the “Better Families” church bulletin insert.

Previous: Balloon

Next: Personality Test

Share this page: